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April 9, 2012 § Leave a comment

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Greatest Celebrations in MMA

April 5, 2012 § 2 Comments

1. Thiago Silva- Slit Throat

For it’s sheer coolness, Thiago Silva’s slit throat celebration is in at #1. Although Josh Barnett performs a similar post victory gesture, I have to give it to Silva. The way he strides up to the camera, stares down the lens with a psychotic intensity- and then… menacingly…

2. Tito Ortiz- Grave Digger

For it’s originality and over-the-top theatrics, Tito Ortiz and his Grave Digger are in at #2. Most famously, and perhaps most fittingly, performed after finishing Ken Shamrock.

3. BJ Penn- Blood Licker

Former UFC Lightweight champ BJ Penn features on this list for his primal, if not a bit hepatitus-risky celebration following his bloody beatdown of Joe Stevenson at UFC 80. After choking out the badly busted up Stevenson, “The Prodigy” then proceeded to lick the freshly shed blood from his gloves. Although clearly crazy, it shows his litterally bloodfirsty lust for violence and is a fitting salute to an MMA victory.

4. Rampage Jackson- Wolf Howl

Although his wolf persona remains largely unexplained (the fact he used to train at Wolfslair is coincidental), Rampage Jackson’s wolf howl is part of MMA legend.

5. Chuck Liddell- ‘The Chuck Liddell’

No other way to describe it. It is a move synonymous with the man.

Chael Sonnen versus Brazil

April 4, 2012 § 1 Comment

Long-time UFC middleweight number one contender and trash talk world champion, Chael Sonnen, is both lauded and hated for his highly xenophobic diss campaign against Brazil.

The American started the running joke during the build-up for his fight with Anderson Silva back at UFC 117. His rants angered other Brazilian fighters, especially Wanderlei Silva.

In commemoration of the outspoken middleweight’s rematch with the champion, here is some of his tweets and quotes that hopefully summarize why he polarises fans like no one else.

Click to Enlarge

Interview with Ariel Helwani

“You have to understand. If I say something in a very private manner that isn’t intended for a certain audience, come on, you can’t hold that against me. I picked my medium very carefully when I talked about Brazil. I went to the internet. And if I had the foggiest idea that they had computers in Brazil, I wouldn’t have done that.”

“I was in Las Vegas when the Nogueira brothers first touched down in America. There was a bus…this is a true story…there was a bus that pulled up to a red light and ‘Lil Nog’ tried to feed it a carrot while ‘Big Nog’ was petting it. He thought it was a horse. This really happened? Do you believe me that that happened? He tried to feed a bus a carrot and now you’re telling me their country has computers? I didn’t know that!”

“Listen Wanderlei, I will do a home invasion on you. I will cut the power to your house and the next thing you’ll hear is me climbing up your stairs in a pair of night vision goggles I bought in the back of Soldier of Fortune magazine. I’ll pick the lock to the master room door and take a picture of you in bed with the Nogueira brothers working on your “jeeuu-jitsu.”

“What happened Mirko, what happened to your legs? Nothing happened. The referee’s not wearing an earpiece. The promoter didn’t come in the back and tell your opponent when to go down. That’s what happened. ‘I lost my motivation.’ No you didn’t – you suck. You suck just like Wanderlei sucks, just like Fedor sucks. Big difference when that referee is real isn’t it?”

MMA Wrestlemania

March 30, 2012 § 5 Comments

The worlds of MMA and Pro Wrestling are often accused of overlapping. I do not mean to blur the line because I know MMA fans hate comparisons being drawn between the two. I am a fan of both, I am an MMA fan now and have fond memories of enjoying WWF when I was younger. I have decided to write this article as a nostalgic blend of old and new.

Match #1: Tag Team Titles

GSP + Rory MacDonald v The Diaz Brothers

The opening bout will feature a match up for the tag team titles. GSP and Rory Macdonald are two formidable Canadian welterweights who both fight out of the Tristar Gym in Montreal. Who better to face the Canadian duo than the rowdy Diaz Brothers from Stockton, California. It’s a perfect match up! GSP and the elder Diaz, Nick, have been feuding for weeks in the build up to their expected but eventually non-existent showdown. MacDonald and the younger Diaz, Nate, have fought before in a one-sided victory for the Canadian. Nate later went on to accuse Rory of taking steroids.

Match #2: Handicap Match

Alastair Overeem v Ian McCall + Demetrious Johnson

Next up we have an interesting handicap match between the ginormous Dutchman, Alastair Overeem and mini American fighters Ian McCall and Demetrious Johnson. Pro Wrestling has a tendency of pitting a monstrous heel against two opponents who are much smaller in stature.

Match #3: Ladder Match/ Loser Gets Fired

Jason Miller v Dan Hardy

In this bout, Jason “Mayhem” Miller and Dan Hardy will compete in a ladder match for a UFC contract. Dangling precariously above the centre of the ring is a 3-fight UFC deal and the first man to grab it is once again secure in the number one MMA promotion, the loser is fired. Hardy is on a four fight losing streak that has seen him fall from challenging for the title to the threat of release. Miller has had a nomadic career and last year he returned to the UFC to face Michael Bisping. The manner of Miller’s subsequent beat down has thrown his UFC future into question.

Match #4: Hell in a Cell

Brock Lesnar v Frank Mir

Now that Brock Lesnar has left the UFC, the only way to conclude this most hateful of rivalry is in the iconic Hell in a Cell. The most brutal match to house the most vicious hatred. Imagine Frank Mir getting chucked Mankind-esque from the top of the cell through the announcers table. Joe Rogan would go nuts, while he contemplates watching the rest of the event with nowhere to rest his elbows.

Match #5: Fatal Four Way for the Number One Contender Spot

Michael Bisping v Rousimar Palhares v Chris Weidman v Vitor Belfort

Who shall face the winner of Anderson Silva versus Chael Sonnen? This Fatal Four Way will determine the rightful number one contender. Bisping was gathering real momentum until he ran into Chael Sonnen, however many believed he won the fight and gained a lot of respect and credibility in defeat. Palhares has really captured the imaginations of MMA fans with his terrifying ground game. The fighter dubbed ‘the scariest fighter in the UFC’ by Joe Rogan has grabbed a lot of attention with his horror leg locks that threaten to end the career of anyone who gets caught in them. Weidman is a young middleweight who has amassed a great deal of hype already. His latest victory over a lackluster Damian Maia proved to many that he is the real deal. Belfort is a perennial contender and with his dramatic victory over a much bigger Anthony Johnson he is once again back in the mix for a title shot. If he can get past fellow Brazilian Wanderlei Silva in his next fight he may get another rematch with another Silva.  Oh, and obviously wins this Fatal Four Way… obviously.

Match #6: Kiss My Ass Match
Dana White v Tito Ortiz/ Rampage Jackson/ Fedor Emelianenko

Vince McMahon is the Dana White of the WWE Universe and has a particular penchant for getting his enemies to kiss his ass. This pursuit was reserved for his most bitter of adversaries such as Stone Cold Steve Austin and The Rock. In this match Dana White would face off against one his rivals with similar ass-kissing stipulations. He could face either Tito Ortiz, Rampage Jackson or Fedor Emelianenko.  Due to the disparagement of technical ability, one of Dana’s stablemates will interfere in the match. Perhaps Lorenzo Fertitta will run in with a steel chair. If it is Rampage he is facing it would be a vengeful Ariel Helwani who would come dashing down to screw Jackson over. Maybe knocking him out with his microphone?

Main Event: World Title Fight

Jon Jones v Rashad Evans w/ Special Guest Referee Greg Jackson

In the Main Event we have title fight between Jon Jones and Rashad Evans with, controversially, Greg Jackson as special guest referee. Jackson is the current trainer of Jones and the former trainer of Evans, will his split loyalties have an effect on his ability to fairly arbitrate the fight? Similar to when Triple H fought The Rock in an Iron Man Match with Shaun Michaels as ref, will Jackson’s presence be a deciding factor in the outcome?

Who could be next for Jon Jones?

March 26, 2012 § Leave a comment

I am writing this post in acknowledgement of the ever shortening list of fighters available to be put through the Jon Jones shredder. Now don’t get me wrong, I am not for a second discounting Rashad Evans’ chances at UFC 145, even if the bookmakers are. To me, Rashad Evans is the toughest fight of Jones’ career to date and is the man best equipped to take the belt. That said, if Evans should fail to regain the light heavyweight title, who else is really out there to face the champion? I have compiled a list, admittedly it is a short and multi-divisional list, of the last remaining beacons of hope should Evans fall.

1. Dan Henderson

Hendo is on a tear. He’s on a four fight win streak which includes wins over MMA legends Fedor Emelianenko and Shogun Rua. Henderson had vacated his Strikeforce light heavyweight title to pursue Jones and the UFC title. Stylistically, this may prove to be a difficult fight for Jones. Henderson possesses knock out power in his hands but he also has the wrestling credentials to possibly take the fight to the mat.

This fight scenario is very reminiscent of Henderson versus Silva in which the American succumbed to a rear naked choke. Jones has yet to demonstrate that he has a ground game as deadly as Silva’s. The submission victories the young champion has are against opponents so battered and demoralized that they limply concede limbs and necks.

Jones has faced a similar foe already. Ryan Bader is a watered-down version of Henderson- big one punch power and accomplished wrestling. The ease in which Bader was beaten must be a concern for Henderson fans.

2. Alexander Gustafsson

Alexander Gustafsson is like Jon Jones in a way. Very young and very promising and with only one blemish on his record. He has looked a real contender recently, finishing his last four opponents. He has yet to beat a top ranked opponent but his compition level has been gradually increasing.

In his next fight he will be facing dangerous Brazilain Thiago Silva at UFC on FUEL TV 2 in Sweden and if he can win impressively, necessity of a challenger in such a bare division may force the young swede into the title picture.

3. Anderson Silva

This is the most interesting fight of the list. Weirdly, despite dominating for six years, Anderson Silva is still further away from clearing his division than Jon Jones. Should Silva get past Sonnen he will still have to face the likes of Michael Bisping, Rousimar Palhares and Chris Weidman before his domination of the middleweight division is complete. Jones on the other hand has already dispatched of Ryan Bader, Shogun Rua, Rampage Jackson and Lyoto Machida in such devastating fashion that rematches are out of the question. Apart from a few, the light heavyweight division is full of fighters past their prime or stumbling inconsistently.

4. Gegard Mousasi

The Strikeforce fighter and DREAM light heavyweight champion has always been one of the fighters fans having been craving to see in the UFC. If he can claim the vacant Strikeforce light heavyweight title then he may just finally have earned his rightful place in the big league. Not only would he be entering the big league but he will be entering a thoroughly depleted division.

5. Frank Mir

Like when Anderson Silva moved up to light heavy and fought Forrest Griffin, Jon Jones should just dip his toe in the water by facing a top 5 contender. Frank Mir has the skills and the name to match up with the PPV selling standards of Jon Jones.

This is all hypothetical though as Jones still has to get through Rashad Evans at UFC 145. Knowing my luck, Evans will likely win the fight rendering this article pointless.

MMA Stars and their Pokemon Counterparts

March 19, 2012 § 7 Comments

Chael Sonnen = Meowth 

The only Pokemon who talks? Gotta be Chael Sonnen.

Nick Diaz = Alakazam

Nick Diaz, like Alakazam, is a master of getting in peoples heads. Alakazam uses telekinesis, telepathy, ESP and psionic abilities to control the mind of his opponents, whereas Diaz just gives them the finger and says “come on, bitch”.

Shane Carwin = Jigglypuff

This may seem an odd fit at first but it all comes down to what they do best. Putting people to sleep.

Jon Fitch = Graveler

Jon Fitch is known for being a gritty fighter, so what better pokemon to represent him than one that is essentially gravel. Graveler, like Fitch, isn’t flashy in combat and looks to barge through opponents with crushing stubbornness.

Greg Jackson = Ash Ketchum

Both Master Trainers. Sorry for my lack of imagination but what else do you want me to say? Ash never told Charmander how to win on points and Jackson has never taught GSP Thunderbolt. They both train a team of combatants, is that not enough for you?

Dana White = Giovanni

Dana White is the president of the UFC and Giovanni is the leader of Team Rocket. Now, I am not equating the UFC to Team Rocket but they are very similar in their persuit of world dominanation.

Brock Lesnar = Machamp

Muscles. They’re both muscular specimens. Powerful beasts. Musclebound Adonis’. Both are in peak athletic condition. Both are crazy strong. They both have belts… oh wait.

Arianny Celeste = Jynx

Bit of eye candy for the lads.

George St. Pierre = Mew

Although very mild mannered and good spirited, do not underestimate either of these two. You gotta know, despite their calm exterior, they are savages who could beat the shit out of you and make you look silly.

Jon Jones = Mewtwo


Both are undeniably gifted and dangerous foes, however both are also accompanied by an undeniable air of arrogance. Mewtwo also benefits from having a massive reach advantage over most of his enemies.

Cecil Peoples = Zubat

Like Cecil Peoples- Zubat is also blind. Zubat uses echolocation to overcome this problem- Peoples uses no such skill and relies purely on instinct.

Lyoto Machida = Gengar

Both are annoyingly elusive. Gengar cannot be hit because he is a ghost and punches go right through him. Machida rarely gets hit becuase he does Karate. However an arrogant Mewtwo wouldn’t be fazed and would choke out the elusive Gengar, or did he use Psychic? I’m getting confused. Or he can be Dragonite, whatever.

Bob Sapp = Snorlax

Aside from their obvious physical resemblance, Bob Sapp and Snorlax share one more common trait. They are both often caught sleeping. Snorlax is sleeping because he is fat and lazy. Sapp is sleeping because he is in the wrong profession.

Kenneth Allen = Magikarp

Both. Utterly. Useless.

Damian Maia = Diglet

Love the ground.

Top 5 MMA Funnies (Memes and Rage Comics)

March 10, 2012 § 2 Comments

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